Book seven done... Now what?

An amazing women once said to me “when a guy says to me I like you, what I hear is , here are my needs please meet them.” The reason why she told me that was because we were having a lengthy debate over why I have for so long refused to date Mormon girls.

As the discussion continued I told her that not only is that what happens with me, but they also say to me “please do not express your needs, they will only cause me to lose interest.”

This weekend.

Saturday I had been able to get an extension from a professor for an assignment that was now to be due at midnight on Saturday. At 3:00 p.m. that Saturday Sarah (last name not important) called me to see if I would give her a ride to a party taking place that evening that began at 5:30.

I agreed that I would pick her up from the metro (subway) station closest to my house and we would go from there. I told her I would like to be there around six and that I had to make a detour on the way.

At 5:00pm I called Sarah to see if she was getting at all close to my house. She had not even left her house yet. It was no less than a 1 hour metro trip from her house to mine and this meant that we would not be picking her up until 6:00. Now here is what I had planned for the schedule that night.

The plan in my head was as follows. 5-5;30 pick up sarah drop off ipod.
5:30 - 6:00 go to party number 1.
6:00 - 7:15 party #1
7:30- 8:00 party #2
9:00 leave party #2
9:30 - 9:45 start working on assignment.
12:00 publish assignment
12:01 read Harry potter.

Here is what actually happened.

5:00 call sarah still has not left.
6:00 Where the fuck is she???
6:30 thinking about leaving her.
7:00 I am walking out the door when I find that I cant find my Ipod.
7:15 still cant find Ipod.
7:18 sarah calls she is almost to my house.
7:30 pick her up - found the ipod.
7:45 drop off ipod. At party #2
8:00 get to party #1
9:00 leave party #1
10:00 get food (finally)
10:05 sarah asks how she is getting home
10:06 I tell her about assignment.
10:08 she tells me she needs ride home
10:15 she tells me again.
10:20 gossips to Ashley about her ride home.
10:25 takes me inside the house at party #2 to talk about her ride home.
10:30 leave party #2
10:31 ask her to read to me while I drive the 65 mile round trip to her house.
11:00 she complains about reading.
12:00 get her home.

8:30 get call from professor who is not happy that I did not get assignment to him like I promised.
8:31 feel like a fool.
8:32 forgive - life will go on.



Now all of this would be kinda funny accept for the fact that on the way to drop off my IPOD I ask her where my portable hard drive is and if she knows about it. She tells me that Teresa is just taking a long time to get the pics off of it.

So today I email Teresa about my portable hard drive and come to find out it is no longer in her charge. In fact Sarah’s friend who just moved out here left the god dam thing U fucking TAH. Sarah knew that her friend was going to be bringing it out here and never said anything to me about it. So when I asked her on Saturday she knew that Becca had lost it and lied to me.

Right now I am trying to convince myself that I should not make a big deal about the whole thing and to just let it go. The problem is that Sarah lied to me.

So now to go back to the start of the whole discussion today. Why don’t I date Mormon girls??? This is why --- It is impossible to tell a mormon girl without being sucked into a trap of manipulation. One thing that I have noticed is that non-Mormons understand how hard it is to find people to trust and people who they can love and love them back. It is so rare and when it happens it is cherished and treated with the respect and honor that it deserves. --- Not always but when you have someone who loves you and you love them then it is respected.

On the other hand mormons believe that it is a right that people love them. That no matter how retarded they act I have to love them. I have no agency in the matter. That no matter what mistakes they make I am still going to have to love that person. The truth is that when you act like a jackass I am going to treat you like a jackass. And you can still love a jackass. I had one when I was a child named stubby I loved that thing. When I was three years old it kicked me right square in the chest but I still loved it.

And that is in a nutshell why I don’t date mormon girls. You cant trust them to honor and respect the fact that you have opened up your heart to them.

Now for those of you who are reading this and thinking that I just got my heart broken --DON’T.
I am not sitting hear crying over my keyboard. However, I am thinking about why again is was that I ever stopped drinking. But suffice it to say that most Mormon girls cannot be trusted. They live the motto that everyone has to love them they are a daughter of god. And because you love them --- Here are my needs please meet them…


On a separate note tonight is a hard night for me. Have any of you seen the new Jack Daniels advertising. Jack Daniels served in fine establishments and questionable joints… Oh that is brilliance. The thing that sucks about all of this is that I am about to receive the priesthood. And my life is falling apart right before my eyes.

For the last two years everything that I have spent my life achieving and earning has been taken from me. At the onset of this summer I decided that I could no longer accept this lifestyle and began acting in my old ways. Almost over night I got a new job, found a way back to school, got a big fat investment payout. It was like the second I decided to stop practicing being a Mormon I won the lottery.

A few weeks ago I stopped making those mistakes and began to prepare to get the priesthood. And in that time I have gained almost ten pounds, my car sucks, and every girl around me is lying to me. Not to mention the fact that since coming back to church I have lost my happiness. I was so happy over the summer, and now it seems as though my life is totally in a spin cycle. I know that life is supposed to get hard when you are about to make good decisions. But the fact is that my life is happiest when I am making bad decisions. Not to mention the fact that people seem to like me more.
How exactly is it that when I make wrong decisions I start losing weight, but when I am doing everything I can to be good I am a big fat pig. Right now I think I am the fattest that I have ever been. I am at least 10 pounds fatter than I was a 2 weeks ago.

I just don’t see why it is that I keep coming back to this faith?? I mean honestly I never feel comfortable at church. I have always felt like an outcast. I have always been an outsider to the folds of the faith. Why is it that I am so at home within the walls of the places that are supposed to be so wrong for me???

I cant understand why it is that if I am working so hard to be good why it is that I feel so bad. And when I am acting bad I feel so happy.

Maybe it is just time to cut the ropes of this faith and let it float up into the sky. I am of the opinion that I will probably never be able to find someone to marry within the folds of this faith. I cant see how I would ever meet someone when I am so opposed to dating them. But needless to say I don’t really like what I have become. I don’t have a house I have only one car. I don’t have a degree and I don’t have a career. When I was 19 I had a house a few cars and a good job.

Maybe it is a test but if it is a test I can say that I am just about to break…

You know that greatest tragedy of all is that I wanted to spend the time during this blog to encourage you all to read Harry potter. I just finished the seventh book and I want to say that I liked the way that it ended. I never expected harry to be a horcrux. That is amazing writing. I love when the answer is right there in front of you the whole time and you never see it. Rowling is masterful in the way she blazes the answer right there on his forehead and yet you never see it coming. That women in my opinion has earned every dollar she has made off the potter series. Harry Potter is truly the definition of what good writing is. I hate beyond all measure plot manipulation. And yet I also need to be surprised - I never saw that one coming!


Quotes of the day:
#1 For somehow this is tyranny's disease, to trust no friends. -- Aeschylus

#2 The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
- Frank Herbert

#3 I trust those who watch porn, it is those that don’t who worry me…